Categories
Uncategorized

2 Tulsa Women On 2-Year Movement To Warm City’s Homeless With Scarves

If you are walking through Downtown Tulsa and see a bag with #ScarfingTulsa, don’t throw it away. Two women are behind a two-year movement to pass out crochet scarves to the city’s homeless. They tell News On 6 one small act of kindness can make a major impact on someone’s life.

“A lot of people assume that the homeless are just asking for money or they are not appreciative and that is not the case at all,” said Rebecca Marshall.

When cold rains come down in Tulsa, most people in downtown stay huddled in their warm office buildings, but Marshall is out on the streets.

This is Scarfing Tulsa.

“It was important that I never let anybody feel that way, that they never saw pity or disgust on my face. That it was always just one of love and caring,” said Marshall.

You might see bags around town, a scarf inside and a note attached to the front.

“You’re loved. You matter. You are important. Have a great day – it may be the only nice thing that they hear,” said Marshall.

Marshall’s best friend Amelia Jacobs came up with the idea.

“I just thought that I would hang them up in the middle of the night, if somebody wanted it, great. I didn’t know that it would matter so much,” said Jacobs.

Jacobs loves to crochet and then they package up the scarves to pass them out to people in need.

“I was a homeless teen mom. I know what it is like to be cold,” said Marshall.

In the two years since the women have started this movement, it has grown in unbelievable ways. People are donating material, crocheting blankets and scarves, and family and friends have gotten involved to pass out books, water and granola bars.

“Once I started handing them out- actually putting them on people’s necks and talking to people, I see these people now. Once you see them, once you start talking to them, you can’t look away,” said Jacobs.

Jacobs saw four kids a year ago who were living at a homeless shelter. To this day she is doing all she can to give them the same resources her own children have. A lifelong connection that started because of a crochet scarf.

“It is time for them to get the help and support that they need,” said Jacobs. “They need me and we need them.”

These two best friends started Scarfing Tulsa, as a simple act of kindness and that simple act has grown into an undeniable lesson for these two.

“You do what you can, with what you have, where you are,” said Marshall.

If you would like to help, you can message them on the Facebook Page: Baby Step Treasures and More. You can hashtag #ScarfingTulsa on Facebook or drop off crochet blankets and scarfs at Active Approach Chiropractic in Tulsa at 3701 South Harvard.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Wander Women are former Colorado Springs residents who gave up regular life to hike, bike, kayak

Retirement has been sweet for the Wander Women.

After saying goodbye to the old 9-to-5 in 2015, three former Colorado Springs residents didn’t sink back into the couch with a box of bonbons and their daytime stories and call it a day. Partners Kristy Burns and Annette Demel and their friend Lynn Edmiston sold everything they owned, including their homes, bought RVs and hit the road in search of adventure.

“We decided to retire so we could go do these big hikes and live our lives while we were young enough to do the things we wanted to do,” says Burns, 56.

The big life change probably came as no surprise to those who know them, as Burns and Demel have backpacked for decades. Edmiston, now 63, decided to get in shape when she was 50 and join the couple on their summer and weekend trips.

“We’re trying to age as gracefully as we can,” says Burns, a former mental health therapist who owned a private practice above Poor Richard’s downtown. “We’re trying to get out of our comfort zone, so we’re using our brain all the time. When we’re traveling in the RV we’re in new places all the time. We’re looking at maps, trying to find new places to hike and bike. It’s always unfamiliar and changing.”

Annette Demel and Kristy Burns have been backpacking for 30 years.

Getting uncomfortable looks different for everyone. Maybe it’s having a pebble in your shoe on a mile-long walk, or an early morning wake-up call to hike a fourteener. For these women, it means walking 10-plus hours a day for months on end, bagging long thru-trails around the country, visiting as many state and national parks as possible, biking as many Rails-To-Trails Conservancy bike paths as they can find and kayaking on national scenic rivers.

Altogether, they’ve accrued about 6,200 long-distance, thru-hiking miles since 2015, traveled to 39 states in their RV and visited almost 50 national parks, nearly 80 national monuments, six national scenic rivers, six national seashores and three national lake shores.

Phew. And there are zero plans to stop anytime soon.

“Part of our motto for life is to expand the confines of our life until we die,” says Burns. “Which is meeting as many people as we can and experiencing as many new things as we can. Our world has expanded.”

“Some say what are you going to do when you’re 80?” says Demel, 63, who taught in School District 11 and also was a librarian at Palmer High School when she retired. Edmiston also worked at Palmer High School. “We say shoot, we don’t know. But not to do it when you’re 60 because you’re worried about what it’s going to be like when you’re 80, well, then you’ve missed it. We’ve done more in five years than most people will ever have a chance to do.”

The Colorado Trail — all 500 miles of it from southwest of Denver to Durango — was their first big post-retirement accomplishment. In 2016 they checked off the Oregon Coast Trail at 425 miles. There was the Superior Hiking Trail in Minnesota, clocking in at 300 miles, and the 100-mile Lone Star Hiking Trail in Texas.

In 2019, they conquered the self-described grueling 2,200 mile Appalachian Trail, the oldest of the national scenic trails. It took them six months, nine days and five pairs of shoes each for Burns and Demel. Most recently, the couple finished the 2,700 mile Continental Divide Trail, which saw them each go through six pairs of shoes, 70 packs of tuna, 130 cheese sticks and 18 10-ounce bags of peanut M&Ms. Edmiston was able to join them for 900 miles, but had to leave due to a job.

Kristy Burns and Annette Demel are two-thirds of the Wander Women.

“What we would want for people is to go out there and do as much as you can,” says Demel. “You don’t have to go out and do a whole trail, but give yourself some kind of challenge. Go out and just try it. It’s such a great feeling to be out and have everything you need with you. Backpacking skills — those skills are pretty acquirable.”

Many of their adventures have been documented on the Wander Women’s increasingly popular YouTube channel, something Burns started in 2018 so their friends and family could tag along on their journeys. The videos are anywhere from one to two minutes to upward of 40 minutes, and detail not only their daily walks, but other often humorous side notes, such as caring for aging hikers’ feet, searching for Florida’s scrub jay and exploring the contents of Burns’ 25-pound pack.

There also are regular appearances by Pesky, an annoying hiker who seems determined to ruin the Wander Women’s good times. Spoiler alert: Pesky is a character played by Demel just for laughs. Their YouTube fans can’t get enough of her, the women say.

“I remember on the AT when the Wander Women said they had a rule to not complain or whine as some do (definitely me at times) so that when something was really needing addressing it was taken seriously,” wrote fan Kelly the Fifth on their video documenting the completion of the CDT. “That really struck me, and when I hike, or even just in life, I try to think about that. Watching these films through COVID was such a bright spot.”

Burns believes it’s also their older age that attracts interest from others in a similar age bracket. Part of their plan has always been to encourage others to get out and try new things.

“People would write us and say I’ve joined the Y, I’m moving more, I‘m getting outside and hiking,” she says. “Don’t be a victim to your life. Create it. Surround yourself with beauty and connect with people and create a tribe with people. Older people need something sometimes. You can really keep going and do amazing things.”

Hiking the CDT

Before the pandemic and ensuing lockdowns chained many to their homes last year, the threesome had plans to do some long hikes in Scotland. That trip got canceled, so they headed to the Pacific Crest Trail, which snakes from Southern California to Canada, and was made famous in Cheryl Strayed’s bestselling 2012 memoir, “Wild.”

The group did two days worth before getting an email from a trails coalition recommending all hikers return home due to the virus. So they settled instead for the CDT, a hike that inspires great fear in some due to its proximity to grizzly country in Wyoming and Montana.

“You have to be OK living in the wilderness with grizzlies,” says Burns, who doesn’t seem easily scared.

“Even people we met on the Appalachian Trail who came out to do the Continental Divide Trail don’t necessarily like it, because it’s so wild and you’re so high,” says Demel. “You have to deal with lightning storms and all of that stuff we’re totally used to in the West.”

In what’s called a flip-flop, the women started from the Colorado and Wyoming border and walked up to Canada before flying back to Colorado and walking the second half from Colorado to Mexico. They started in June and returned in October.

“When we first got on the trail we went three weeks without seeing another hiker — that’s how remote you are,” says Demel. “Thousands of people every year attempt the Appalachian Trail, but just a few hundred people do the Continental Divide Trail.”

It was on this adventure they experienced the biggest closest call of their trail lives, when all three women got swept down a river they were trying to cross in Wyoming’s Wind River Range. There were a couple of late storms in the area, and the trio was a little early to be doing those particular sections.

Burns was the worst off, she says. She got caught on a log with water pouring over her.

“I’m thinking, ‘oh my God, this is how people drown.’ I turned to get a breath, and I don’t know if I moved a certain way, but I got pushed back out,” she says. “I see Lynn clinging to a log. She kind of gets out. I get out. I see Annette on the other side of the river. I said, oh God, we’re all OK.’ It was scary.”

These are the ladies you want to gather with around the campfire late at night, as you sit back and listen to their colorful tales. Some are about the incessant hiker hunger and that bordering on anxiety feeling of knowing you don’t have quite enough in your pack to feel comfortable. But this is when, the women say, the trail always provides. These are the teachable moments when one must surrender to life and trust.

Burns remembers one such nine-day stretch on the CDT, right before they got washed down the river, when they ran short on food. They felt weak and stopped to rest. They hadn’t seen another person in weeks, but suddenly four people on horses came clomping down the trail. They stopped to exchange pleasantries and, when they learned the women were running low on food, began pulling loads of goodies from their saddle bags. A cheeseburger with lettuce and tomato. A turkey sandwich with chips and cookies. Burns believes the extra calories helped them later have the energy to get out of the rushing river.

“People (on the trail) talk about how things like that happen all the time,” she says. “All of a sudden you’ll bump into someone who helps you. Or the food comes to you out of nowhere.”

“You definitely let go of worrying about what are we going to do?” says Demel. “You keep moving forward. We’ll figure it out.”

The women’s happiness radiates as they share their experiences. They’ve succeeded in creating the uncommon life they hoped for.

“You realize some of the stuff we’ve given up in our more urban life,” says Demel, “like it is so quiet. The night skies. Every night is so dramatic. The wind. The smells are just amazing when you’re out there. You’re overwhelmed with the beauty of it.”

“We’re talking more. We’re not watching TV,” says Burns. “At the end of the day we’re talking about the night sky, or something that happened during the day. It’s fulfilling.”

Contact the writer: 636-0270

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Miss Sweden 1964 is one of the few women to cross paths with Hawkeye, Hogan and Batman

Some casting directors must have been watching the Miss Universe contest held on August 1, 1964. Sixty contestants from around the world flocked to Miami Beach for the 13th annual pageant.

Corinna Tsopei, Miss Greece, took home the Miss Universe sash and title. She later popped up as Princess Reyka in the Lost in Space episode “Castles in Space.” The third runner-up, Siv Märta Åberg of Sweden, found even more roles.

Not all of the women aspired to act. Bobbi Johnson, Miss U.S.A., went on to become a computer programmer for General Electric. 

But back to Miss Sweden. Billed as Sivi Aberg, she appeared in a handful of classic episodes. You might not have realized it was the same performer.

Aberg made her American acting debut on Batman in 1966. She played Mimi, one of the three molls to Chandell (Liberace) in “The Devil’s Fingers”/”The Dead Ringers.” But her more memorable turn as a baddie in Gotham undoubtedly came in the camp gem “Surf’s Up! Joker’s Under!” She was the Joker’s henchwoman Undine. That beach blast featured Aberg sporting a silver swimsuit and speaking into a hot dog radio.

A year later, Aberg could be found in “LeBeau and the Little Old Lady,” a Hogan’s Heroes yarn centered around LeBeau (Robert Clary). The French ally is keeping a secret from the rest of the Stalag 13 gang. He claims to be having rendezvous with an underground agent who is an elderly crank. Turns out, of course, that this “Little Old Lady” is a stunning blonde beauty. Celeste Yarnall plays that character, Wilhelmina. You know her best from Star Trek, as the Redshirt Martha Landon in “The Apple.” Aberg plays Juliana and shares some scenes with Hogan himself.

This was not the last time we saw Aberg in a military comedy. Skip forward five years and find Aberg flirting with Hawkeye Pierce in “Dear Dad… Three.”

At the end of this M*A*S*H story, Trapper John introduces Aberg to Hawkeye as a nurse from “the Swedish unit.” 

Hawkeye (Alan Alda) begins to sing “Makin’ Whoopee” to himself.

“What is that? Whoopee?” Aberg asks. “I’ll be with you in a minute,” Hawkeye says back with a grin.

Just this year, Aberg would face the cameras once again in Hollywood, albeit in a much different manner. She was on hand to celebrate Burt Ward receiving his star on The Hollywood Walk of Fame. Looks like Robin forgave his enemies.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Worrying spate of sex attacks sees police urge women to carry alarms and stick to well-lit areas – Teesside Live

Latest Teesside headlines straight to your inbox

Thank you for subscribingWe have more newslettersShow meSee ourprivacy notice

Police are urging women to be vigilant after a spate of sex attacks in a North Yorkshire town.

A woman in her early 20s was assaulted at about 5pm on Friday, January 22, as she stood alone at the junction of Mowbray Road and Turker Lane in Northallerton.

The suspect approached the victim from behind and without warning sexually assaulted her before running off down Turker Lane in the direction of Brompton Road.

North Yorkshire Police said it was the third such incident in a recent weeks.

The force is keen to hear from anyone who may have been in the area at the time, or has vehicle dash-cam or home CCTV footage of the location.

The suspect is described as white, around 5ft 10ins tall, of slim build with a pale complexion.

He was wearing a dark puffer jacket with a top with the hood up, and dark loose-fitting jogging bottoms.

Sergeant Nick Hill, of Northallerton Police, said “These incidents are extremely distressing to the female victims concerned.

“They can be assured, along with the wider community, that North Yorkshire Police is determined to arrest and prosecute those responsible for these offences.”

He urged women walking in the area alone to be extremely vigilant and be on the lookout for anyone acting suspiciously.

“To maximise safety, walk with someone else if possible and stick to well-lit areas,” he said.

“Also consider having a personal alarm with you and a mobile phone, but please avoid prolonged use of electronic devices to enable you to remain alert to your surroundings.

“Anyone who has immediate concerns for their personal safety should contact police without delay by dialling 999.”

Anyone with information that could assist this investigation should contact North Yorkshire Police on 101, select option two, and ask for Katy Ditchburn.

People can also email [email protected]

If you wish to remain anonymous, pass information to Crimestoppers on 0800 555111.

Quote the North Yorkshire Police reference number 12210035159.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Recent Match Report – SA Women vs PAK Women 3rd ODI 2020/21 | ESPNcricinfo.com

South Africa Women 201 (Wolvaardt 58, Lee 49, Baig 4-30, Sandhu 2-31) beat Pakistan Women 169 (Javeria 33, Ismail 3-22, Khaka 3-29, Luus 3-35) by 32 runs

South Africa made a strong statement of intent ahead of next year’s 50-over World Cup by completing a clean sweep of Pakistan in Durban, with victory by 32 runs in the third ODI.

South Africa have now won six ODIs in succession following their 3-0 win in New Zealand last January, through which they automatically qualified for the global showpiece. While the World Cup is still a year away, preparation has had to be ramped up especially as fixtures are scant in the current pandemic. Neither South Africa nor Pakistan had played since last year’s Women’s T20 World Cup and though there were signs of rust on both sides, the ODIs were hard-fought and entertaining.

After two tense matches last week, in which Pakistan lost by 3 and 13 runs respectively, the visitors fell away in the finale. They were all but out of the contest at the halfway mark of their chase when they teetered at 73 for 5 while going after a target of 202. By then, South Africa’s stand-in captain Sunè Luus had become the 20th player to claim 100 ODI wickets, and the fourth among her countrywomen. Luus reached her milestone with the wicket of her opposite number Javeria Khan, whom she caught off her own bowling, after Javeria top-scored for her side with 33.

Pakistan needed bigger individual contributions but the usually aggressive pair of Aliya Riaz and Nida Dar were kept quiet and the early collapse was too much for them to recover from. Overall, their coach David Hemp assessed it as a series of missed chances. “We had opportunities to win all the games,” he said. “We need the top four to score runs.”

Contrastingly, South Africa had their best start with the bat after Lizelle Lee and Laura Wolvaardt put on 79 for the first wicket with Wolvaardt going on to score her 17th career half-century. Her dismissal, caught behind off the series-leading wicket-taker Diana Baig, sparked a major tumble for South Africa. They lost 7 for 48 and Baig finished with a career-best for 4 for 30. At 172 for 8, South Africa did not likely to set Pakistan 200.

Trisha Chetty‘s 34 off 43 balls took them to a decent score, though the middle-order has work to do on their contributions. Mignon du Preez, who scored just 47 runs in the series, will attract particular attention given her seniority and skill.

“There’s been a lot of starts but the kick on is not happening in terms of converting,” coach Hilton Moreeng said. “It’s an aspect we need to keep working on. We identified that the application is not there for everyone. We absorb a lot of pressure but when its time to translate that and put the opposition under pressure, we have two new batters at the crease, so we need to always have an in-batter.”

South Africa will be more pleased with the way their bowling stood up in big moments. Ayabonga Khaka‘s control and use of the slower ball saw her finish as South Africa’s joint-leading bowler across the three matches, with the same number of wickets as Shabnim Ismail, known for her pace. Luus and Marizanne Kapp, who sat out the final game, also made important inroads to ensure South Africa have a depth and options going forward.

Pakistan were also pleased with their efforts with the ball, particularly that of Baig, who led their attack. “She is a great learner, she wants to get better and she has got a great work ethic,” Hemp said.

Both coaches acknowledged that long layoffs for their teams contributed to some of the less-than-flattering moments that we saw throughout the series with dropped catches and missed run-outs a feature on both sides. For Hemp, Pakistan need to play against opposition ranked above them more often. “The more opportunities we have to play against sides who are ranked higher, the better. South Africa have nine players who are regularly playing in the best T20 competitions in the world,” he said. “We have to address our basics of the game. That’s where we are letting ourselves down.”

For Moreeng, South Africa need matches because it is the only way they can can give themselves a real chance at the World Cup. “The ladies need game time,” he said. “We could see from the first game that we had enough preparation but there is only so much you can do. There were a lot of basics we were not doing right. We feel we need to stay active – that is the only way we can prepare.”

The teams start a three-match T20I series at the same venue on Friday, where conditions are expected to be hot, slow and low as they have been so far.

Firdose Moonda is ESPNcricinfo’s South Africa correspondent

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

90 Women Share ‘I Am The Client Not My Husband, Stop Ignoring Me’ Stories

Being ignored is a frustrating experience. But being ignored because of your gender, race, culture, or sexuality is enough to make you livid. Unfortunately, even in the 21st century, being stereotyped and written off at a glance is still possible.

In a viral thread on the r/AskReddit community, redditor Teacherspet5859438e (wow, that’s a long username!) asked the women on the site to share the times that they were being ignored in favor of their male partners, colleagues, or friends, despite them being the clients.

Have a scroll through some of the top responses and let us know if you’ve ever experienced anything similar in the comment section at the bottom of this list. Keep in mind, some of these stories might get you worked up with how unfair they are. Rude? Lacking manners? That’s just the tip of the iceberg…

#1

I’m an Army veteran. My debit card is with a military-affiliated bank. Every time I pay for dinner at a restaurant, they bring it back, set it in front of my husband, and thank him for his service.
My husband was never in the military. The card has my name on it, and sometimes, they even have watched me pull it out of my bag!

I have also been by myself somewhere, paid for something with the card, and had the person who sees the card look at me and say, ‘Oh, was your husband or dad in the military?’ Um, no. No, they were not. I was. Thank you.

#2

He wasn’t my husband, not even my boyfriend, but a guy friend I happened to have around when a carpenter came to fix something in MY home.
I welcomed the joiner in and started talking to him about the issue. Then, he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him. He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home.

#3

I was at Best Buy getting some PC components because my friend asked me to help update his motherboard and processor. The first employee was respectful and sent for someone with keys to get the parts for me. The guy with the keys kept asking my friend what he wanted. And when I would have to answer, he would ask me twice and sometimes three times if I was sure about it.
Yes. I’m sure. I have a computer science degree. Give me the processor.

The redditor’s thread got 63.6k upvotes and over 200 awards, proving that it’s a topic that resonated with the online community. Though the thread pointed out that there are plenty of guys out there who have old-fashioned attitudes, there’s a positive flipside, too: some men are more than happy to stand up for their loved ones and coworkers, setting the record straight.

Gender stereotypes, according to the Council of Europe, are one of the main obstacles on the path to “real gender equality” because they lead to gender discrimination. These stereotypes are “preconceived ideas whereby males and females are arbitrarily assigned characteristics and roles determined and limited by their sex.”

#4

When I had my appendix taken out, I asked my doctor when sex would be okay again. He turned to my husband and said, ‘Whenever you feel ready, you can begin sexual relations again.
I don’t know if he was uncomfortable talking to me about it or was deferring to what my husband would prefer. Either way, it was strange.

#5

I took my colleague out to lunch. When the bill came around, the waitress gave it to him because she assumed he would be paying.
He wasn’t a subordinate, he was at the same level as me. However, I was given a company card, and he wasn’t due to the nature of our jobs. He graciously grabbed the bill and gave it to me, saying, ‘She’s the boss.’ Smart move: It made me feel validated, and he got a free lunch.

#6

I was trying to collect a parcel from the post office that was addressed to both me and my husband. They told me that my husband had to come to collect it. I asked whether they meant both of us had to be there, and the response was no, just him.
Needless to say, I was not happy. After a while of arguing, they gave me the parcel.

The Council of Europe explains the dangers of such stereotypes: “Sex stereotyping can limit the development of the natural talents and abilities of boys and girls, women and men, their educational and professional experiences as well as life opportunities in general. Stereotypes about women both result from and are the cause of deeply engrained attitudes, values, norms, and prejudices against women. They are used to justify and maintain the historical relations of power of men over women as well as sexist attitudes which are holding back the advancement of women.”

As with plenty of other sensitive issues, education is one of the key ways how attitudes can be changed. But personal responsibility is just one part of the solution. New government and business policies can contribute to fighting gender stereotypes in the workplace and outside of it. That and reminding everyone that basic manners, like not turning your back to someone or pretending they’re not even there, still mean a lot, even in 2021.

#7

When my husband and I were looking for our first house, he had just graduated and still had student debt. I had been practicing law and had $20k saved for the downpayment. The real estate agent only spoke to him, even if I asked the questions.
In one house, we went to look at the basement, and the guy said, ‘You don’t want to go there. It has spiders.’ I told my husband that I wouldn’t ever buy a house from him
Later, the guy ran for office, and I told everyone the story, including a woman that called me randomly to promote his candidacy. Turns out, she was his mother. It’s a small thing but indicative of his attitude toward ‘the fairer sex.’

#8

This doesn’t just apply to heterosexual couples, my wife and I are lesbian, I am taller and most sales people direct the discussion to me. I am not the one that makes most of the decisions!!! I’m just taller!!!

#9

I’m a female business owner with a male business partner. I’ve had a few customers and reps born in the Dark Ages who ask to ‘speak to my boss.
The worst was a guy who snapped his fingers and told me to ‘put the kettle on, girly.’ Needless to say, he didn’t get his cuppa, and he certainly didn’t get the discount he asked for.

#10

I have a chronic pain disease that runs in the family. I noticed that my father and male relatives have no problems securing pain meds, but my doctors would never give me any — despite me clearly indicating how much pain I was in.
So I started bringing either my father or my husband to my medical appointments (which is hugely intrusive), would have them repeat how much pain I was in, and low and behold, suddenly I get pain medication.

#11

When my parents and I went to look at colleges, the admissions guy opened by shaking my dad’s hand, constantly directed questions at my dad, and would look to him for confirmation whenever my mom said something.
My mom is defacto the money person of our family unit. She manages the family finances and investments, and she was way, way, way more qualified to comment on things like student loans or expected contribution. When we left that meeting, she was absolutely furious that she had to basically fight the admissions person to have a normal conversation.

#12

When I was shopping for a car, the salesmen at every dealership kept talking to my husband instead of me — even though I was the one who contacted the dealerships and made sure to introduce myself first.
My husband got sick of it and started telling them, ‘Don’t talk to me, it’s not my car. Talk to her.’ I wound up buying from a saleswoman who treated us equally — until she pretty quickly figured out my husband was not involved whatsoever in the decision.

#13

At work, I was meeting a new vendor (‘Pat’) that was to be servicing one of the facility systems I oversee. Pat had already met the facilities engineer (also a man), who was introducing me to Pat. Instead of talking directly to me, Pat shook my hand, turned to my coworker, and asked him, ‘And what does she do here?’
A few weeks later, Pat had the unpleasant opportunity to learn that I’m the one who calls him when his company falls through and doesn’t deliver. Needless to say, I was not overly polite about it when Pat failed to do his job.

#14

My husband and I wanted a fence around our house. A man came over to give an estimate during a workday. I was ready to sign the papers, and he said, ‘I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it.’ I asked him to leave my property and never come back.
I have always worked from home, and my husband has always worked in a field where he cannot take time to meet with contractors, etc. He and I agree on terms upfront, and then I make decisions from there. It doesn’t matter in life, but for this story it does: I make more than my husband. For the fence, we had already agreed on this company based on various factors, and the estimate had ended up being less than we expected to pay.

We had already agreed on this company based on various factors. A man came over to give an estimate during a work day, which ended up being less than we expected to pay. I was ready to sign the papers and he said “I’d rather talk to your husband about the numbers and get his signature since he will be the one paying for it” I asked him to leave my property and never come back.

#15

We wanted to replace our roof and had found a company that was running a promotion. I called and scheduled for someone to come out for a quote. I was able to answer all of his questions, but he refused to give me a quote without my husband present (with some ‘sign before we leave for best price’ excuse). He was intent on driving back over the following day when my husband would be home.
I called their main office shortly after he left and told them that I wasn’t interested in any high-pressure sales tactics, I just wanted a quote, and if they wouldn’t give that to me, the one who would be paying for it, then to not bother coming back out. I didn’t see them again. The three other roofing companies I contacted had no problem dealing solely with me.

#16

One time, I described my car problem to the desk guy at the auto shop as a ‘clicking’ when I turned the key and asked if they’d check the timing belt. He said I’d have to leave my car there, so my husband arrived 10 minutes later to pick me up. The mechanic came out and asked him what was going on with the car, never looking at me.
I finally asked if he’d checked the timing belts as I’d asked the guy at the desk to do. He had not. Gotta say, mad turned to cocky when it turned out to be the timing belt. This happens a lot with auto repair.

#17

I once caught some hunters trespassing on my property. I wasn’t rude to them at all, I just waved from the other side of the field. The next day, they show up at my house. One gestures towards the police car in the driveway and asks to speak to my husband about hunting in our woods.
I was like, ‘You can talk to him if you want, but that’s my cruiser, and this is my land, not his.’ They still insisted on getting permission from my husband.

#18

I made an appointment for taxes and communicated in advance of that appointment. I was a new 1099 worker and had a lot of questions. Every time I asked one, the accountant addressed my husband.
My husband has always worked a W-2 job, had very few questions, and does not take care of our finances. All of the paperwork was under his name, and the accountant only addressed him in e-mails.
Screw that guy.

#19

We were buying a new mattress. It was a joint decision for the feel of it, but my decision for the price-point and warranty because I was paying for it. I noticed the salesperson talking to my husband more than to me (the one with the money), but I’m used to it. Then, my husband wandered away as if he’d never seen a furniture store before.
Weird, but okay. He came back and said, ‘Hey, can I have some money? I’m going to go check out the *insert dumb little decorative thing.*’ I was weirded out because I have never seen him care about even a lamp enough to go examine it on his own. But I said sure and handed him some cash.

The salesman IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to my husband. Suddenly, in his mind, I was wearing the pants. He started asking me what I did for a living and whatnot, and I was able to negotiate for a slightly lower price. I love my husband so much. He knew exactly what he was doing.

#20

When I was a baby, I wouldn’t ‘latch on’ when my mother breastfed me, so I wasn’t eating well. The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was ‘too hysterical.’
He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like.

#21

We took my daughter to urgent care for stitches. My husband is holding her, and I check her in at the front desk iPad. The front desk man looks at my husband and asks for the insurance card. We’re on my insurance, so I hand him the card. Next, he tells my husband the copay — looking at him behind me — when I’m the one standing at the damn desk.
I pull out my card, with my name on it, and pay.
Jerk.

#22

When I was buying my house, I took my boyfriend with me to the viewing. The realtor mostly talked to him and even ended up calling him with bids on a house. Yes, the house I purchased all on my own and is mine.
I don’t take myself too seriously, and I’m not easy to upset or embarrass, so I didn’t really care, I was riding high on a wave of winning a bidding war.

#23

We had our backyard completely relandscaped. When the landscaper came over for the estimate, he almost exclusively addressed my husband — even though I’d made it clear I was the one doing the designing and knew what I wanted to be done. Afterward, when I paid him, he kept looking behind me for my husband.
He almost didn’t give me the aftercare instructions for the new sod, saying he wanted to make sure it was done right so he’d email them to my husband. I finally snapped, ‘Give me the damn piece of paper, Bruce! I’m the one who will be home during the day to do the damn thing!’ (I worked nights at the time.)

He reluctantly handed it over and called my husband the next day to make sure the lawn got watered. My husband told him, ‘You’d have to ask her, Bruce. She told you she’d do the damn thing,’ and hung up. I had, indeed, done the damn thing.

#24

I’m a female Marine Corps veteran. I have ‘Marine Veteran’ license plates on my car. When I got a speeding ticket a few years ago, I showed the highway patrolman my registration and USAA insurance. He was surprised and said, ‘Oh, the car is registered to you?!

#25

We were buying a car for me. Because we were paying for it outright but financing the minimum amount, we had to sit in the salesman’s office for an inordinately long time answering questions. The salesman — who was great in every other way — would ask my husband the questions. My husband pointed at me and said, ‘I don’t know, it’s her car.’ The salesman said, ‘Of course, but we all know how it goes, right?’ and kept asking him.
We both wanted to get the paperwork signed and get the hell out of there with the car, but we were also on the same wavelength wondering how far we could go with this. So, the salesman would ask my husband a question. My husband would blatantly turn to me and repeat the question. I would answer him, then he would turn back to the salesman and repeat exactly what I’d said. The dude never got the idea that maybe he could just ask me the questions.

We bought my husband a car later and put both of our names on the paperwork. When we had to sign, the finance guy saw that my last name was different and asked when we were getting married. He was confused when we said, ‘Er, eight years ago?’

#26

I work on male-skewing TV shows, and a lot of my colleagues are male. I’m the showrunner, and I direct the shows. We hire local drone operators, so when we meet our drone team, I give them an overview of what we’re looking for in the shot. Conservatively, 75% of the time, follow up questions will be directed to my male colleagues.
We hire local drone operators across the US and globally. No matter where we go, it happens. My colleagues are now in the habit of just staring back in response, letting it get real awkward, and then saying, ‘Ask her.’

#27

I Was invited to a weekend away with a supplier to launch their new range. My husband went with and on the ‘order day’ the Financial Manager of the supplier came up to my husband and asked him what he thinks about the new range and what he is considering to buy. My husband replied very dryly that he is only the plus 1 and that he must speak to me seeing that I am the one with the chequebook.

#28

Oh, comic cons. I’ve learned to just tell men that I’m not that into comics when they try to ask me what I’m into. Otherwise, half the time, it turns into an interrogation where they try to prove I’m ‘not a true comic fan.
I’m a comic book artist.

#29

My old teacher told me a story about a cold caller. A man phoned the house phone (this was around the 80s/90s when people still had house phones) asking for the man of the house to talk about changing supplier for something or other. My teacher (a woman) told the man that her husband was away on a business trip and to call back the next day.

He called the next day, again asking for the man of the house, and she informed him that her husband had been delayed and to call back the next day. He called the next day, and she informed him that due to bad weather his flight had been delayed until later on that night, so please call back the next day. He called the next day, she put her husband on, the man asked about changing to his company’s service. The husband informing him that his wife dealt with all the bills and please talk to her. My teacher took the phone, said “no thank you” and hung up.

#30

I ordered a grill from Lowe’s for curbside pickup and called my best friend with a truck (who is male) to drive. The Lowe’s dude took forever before coming outside MULTIPLE TIMES to let my friend know the grill is missing, give him status updates, and apologize.
The whole time, he’s looking my friend in the face and ignoring me. Every single time, my friend says, ‘Talk to her. I’m just the ride.’ Women are allowed to make purchases. We like food, too. Friend earned major additional kudos that day for calling out the Lowe’s dude’s sexism.

#31

My parents were looking to get solar panels and invited several people over for quotes. This one salesperson kept looking only at my dad, responding only to his questions and not my mom’s, and only addressed my dad with the quote. My mom stood her ground and said that even if his offer was the lowest, they would not be choosing him.
My mom is very anti-confrontational, so I was really proud of her. Another time, I was helping my mom book plane tickets online for both my parents. Even though she filled her name in first, the online system suggested that my dad would be the ‘main booker’. My mom booked her tickets elsewhere.

#32

When we were having our house built, the lady helping us kept saying that the house would have WiFi on all three floors. We asked to have ethernet cables run to certain rooms, and she laughed and said, ‘Well, he can have one run to his office, but you’ll be fine with WiFi.’
I was like, ‘No, I would like one as well.’ We both play games online, sometimes MMOs, and wanted hard lines run. She just couldn’t understand why a woman would need anything other than WiFi. It made me angry for her to make the assumptions.

My husband is awesome and regularly tells contractors to speak to me about things. My dad was a machinist, my mom worked for a tool company. So my husband handles the car, and I handle the house — divide and conquer. It’s so frustrating when people assume I don’t know anything about repairs or tools. I’m just glad my husband is very supportive and knows I am capable of doing things.

#33

I was trying to buy a TV, and my boyfriend came along to help carry the box. Every time I asked a question, the employee would answer by turning to my boyfriend and talking to him. Even when my boyfriend said stuff like, ‘I don’t know, it’s her TV,’ the employee still faced and made eye contact only with him.
I was getting pretty irritated. The last straw was when I was handing him MY credit card, and he turns to my boyfriend to ask if he wants the two-year warranty. Finally, I snapped at him, ‘IT’S NOT HIS TV! I AM BUYING THIS TV! STOP TRYING TO SELL IT TO HIM!’ I was pissed, and it was the most irritating and sexist customer service I’ve ever experienced.

#34

This August I bought a new truck and took my boyfriend with. He is white and I am mexican, we arrived at the dealership and I asked about the explorer they had front and center. Salesman comes over and is asking a bunch of questions to my bf. He told him its for me. I was ignored for the entire conversation. I got up and started looking at the truck. A Hispanic Salesman comes and asks me if I need help. I was out of there within 1.5 hours keys in hand. Found my bf with the other salesman. I looked at bf and said I bought the one I wanted Manny G got me squared away. The look of utter disappointment and anger on the guys face was worth it. My bf chuckled and told said “I told you she was the one buying.” Manny you were great.

#35

I’m the husband, but when we have any kind of work done on our house everyone constantly tries to make eye contact with me and pal around. My wife does all of that stuff. I don’t know anything about any of it. I literally spend the whole time redirecting people to deal with her. Sometimes I just excuse myself and have her fill me in on details (which I don’t care about or need to know) later.

#36

I hope this doesn’t get buried because it’s my absolute favorite thing.

My husband and I were buying a new mattress. It was a joint decision on the feel of it, but my decision for the price-point/warranty/etc because I was paying for it. In other words, all the stuff we actually needed the salesperson for. Salesperson was a fine guy, old-fashioned, not overtly rude, but he was definitely talking to my husband more than to me (the one with the money to pay). I noticed but, eh, I’m used to it, I was going to get my info and pay the man. Whatever.

My husband, bless him, wandered away all floaty, like he’d never seen a furniture store before (weird, but ok). Then he came back and said, “Hey, can I have some money? I’m going to go check out the (insert dumb little decorative thing in the other part of the store).” I was weirded out because I have never seen him care about a lamp enough to go examine it on his own and also we don’t… we don’t do that? But yeah, I said, sure, and handed him some cash.

The salesman IMMEDIATELY stopped paying attention to my husband. Suddenly, in his mind, I was wearing all the pants. He started asking me what I did for a living, etc and I was able to negotiate for a slightly lower price.

I love my husband so much. He knew exactly what he was doing.

#37

Every time I pay for a meal, the server puts the bill in front of my guy & returns my card to my guy after I’ve paid for it lol

#38

During my architecture internship, we had this couple client that wanted to do some renovation. The paymaster was the wife but my senior at that time kept referring to the husband about everything until one day the wife snapped because the husband changed her design and telling my senior that it was from her. He was trying to pocket some of the money for himself.

Lesson learned — always include both side if your client is a couple.

#39

Went with my then GF when she was car shopping. I drove us there cause she didn’t have a car at the time but was more than capable of affording one. We get there, she introduces herself to the dealer that came out and he starts showing us cars. He starts showing her cars and then would address me when talking about the vehicle. Like what kind of engine it has, mileage, ect. She would ask a question the guy would address the answer to me. I was pretty annoyed as I’m not mechanically inclined at all. I said “Why are you talking to me!” dealer stopped and looked confused. “She is the one buying the car not me. Just so you know she is a certified diesel mechanic, she knows way more about cars than I do. Address her not me, I’m just the ride.” He stopped and then quietly talked to the gf the rest of the time. She ended up getting a jeep sahara.

#40

So this one doesn’t really involve any women but a coworker of mine, Indian contractor, had a high pitched voice when speaking english. He was on the phone with his insurance to ask why they hadn’t made the payment to the garage fixing his car and you could tell he was getting angrier and angrier at them when I all of a sudden heard him yell “I AM THE HUSBAND!”.

Apparently the guy on the other line though it was a good move to tell my coworker “Can we talk with your husband about this? you don’t seem to understand what we’re saying”. Our female coworkers were livid when they heard that and had a whole bunch of similar stories.

#41

I had been looking at a car online for about a month. I really wanted it. It was 350 miles away but near where 2 of my kids lived. We drove up to look at the car.

Salesmen kept talking to my husband. Finally he says “Look I HATE this car. I’m here to pay cash money on it but only if she’s happy with the deal. I personally hope she doesnt get it.”

THEN they started negotiating with me. Got it for a good price and when the title arrived it bore out the cliche – it really did belong to a little old man who rarely drove it: had the death certificate stapled to it. It was an 8 year old car with less than 40k on it. And I got it for $4k – this was 16 years ago.

Now WHY a little old man had a purple car with a sunroof, idk.

#42

Any time I’ve bought a vehicle, or gotten parts from a parts counter.

Plot twist: when they ask where my husband is, sweetie, I call over my 6’ tall wife (who is a dead ringer for Brienne of Tarth) to assist. Shuts them up real nice.

#43

I’ve been on the flip side of this.

For years, I worked at bicycle shops and regularly sold some pretty expensive bikes.

One day, a couple came in. The wife was interested in a bike, and it quickly became apparent that the husband was an overpowering, dominating type. “She wants to do this, she doesn’t want to do that, she likes this, she doesn’t like that” etc.

When it became clear she wasn’t being allowed to do much speaking at all, I would let the husband as the question, and I’d reply by physically turning and giving the answer to the wife, making eye contact with her only and pointedly ignoring the husband. It was pretty blatant.

She loved it. She lit up, engaged with me, and genuinely seemed to enjoy the process of learning more about riding and getting into a new sport/hobby.

#44

Kind of a swircheroo, but I (a woman) sold cars, and a couple came in to buy an Accord. They made it clear it was the wife’s car, so I was asking her the questions and getting to know her, but the husband was a controlling bulldozer of a person. He’d interrupt her and talk down to her, and kept trying to bully me on the finances, which I had no control over. He hated it, but I ignored him sooo politely and patiently, waiting for him to shut the hell up so I could listen to her answer. I eventually stopped him and asked her, this is YOUR car, what do YOU think? He got up and left in a huff to harass the management, and I was left alone to do the deal in peace with her, and it was VERY pleasant without him!

I moved on to work as a victim’s advocate for domestic violence; looking back I’m sure this was an abusive relationship, but I’m glad I could offer her the kindness and respect she clearly didn’t get, and although it was for a short time, it was for something big and important. I think about them sometimes (because I got along with her so well, and really disliked him), hoping she’d driven that Accord far away from him.

#45

It’s not so much a particular story but when I was shopping for a car several years ago the salesmen at every dealership kept talking to my husband instead of me even though I was the one who contacted the dealerships and made sure to introduce myself first. My husband got sick of it and started telling them “Don’t talk to me, it’s not my car. Talk to her.”

I wound up buying from a saleswoman who treated us equally until she pretty quickly figured out my husband was not involved whatsoever in the decision.

#46

I was buying a new sports car. My husband and I walk into the dealership and the sales guy walks up holding his hand out to shake my husband’s hand and asks how he can help.

Fine. No biggie. My husband says “she’s buying, not me”. Sales guy glances at me and says to my husband “Well, it’s not just her decision, right?”.

We left and I bought my new sports car elsewhere. Friggin Jerk.

#47

My wife and I are both physicians. She is very type-A and particular. I am much more relaxed and I go with the flow. We recently had a new home built and since then have done a lot in regards to landscaping and adding to the home (finishing the basement, adding on a stand by generator). The thing is, despite my wife usually being the one to reach out to contractors, and despite the fact that she is the one who wants things done in a specific way, and despite the fact that I usually refer them to her, they always try to contact me first, talk primarily to me when we are both present, and reach out to me when they have questions or need to let us know things. It is bizarre. Like, “I am the dude in pajama pants and a sweatshirt playing the floor is lava with the kids. Does it look like I care what kind of finish is on the cabinets. Talk to the wife. We all know she is in charge.”

#48

This comment just made me understand that my father has done that forever and I just never saw it lmao.

My mother is a strong woman, head of 12k employees and who have worked from the bottom to the top and deserve all the money she has made. My father has the same steady job and he is happy with it but it doesnt bring the same money understandably.

Because of this we are in good shape financially so we can afford expensive stuff but everytimes we go in high end restaurants, they always talk to my father about paying the bill or they call my father for the delivery of the latest purchase or whatever but I have just understood with this thread that my father all along has always said the same things: I am not the one paying, I dont know why you are talking to me.

For years, I thought he was looking like a dumb ass on purpose because he found the situation awkward or he was bragging or joking I dont know but all along he was just saying: the woman makes the money in this couple, talk to the woman not me because I cant afford this stuff.

he was just broing his wife all along.

#49

I was the guy in the scenario but I was at a comic con with my girlfriend. It was her idea to go to the con as she actively collected comics (I have a pile of graphic novels but usually don’t bother with individual issues.) At one booth there was an indie artist trying to hawk his new book. He saw us both looking through a copy and came over to engage. He started talking to me but then she asked him a question about the book. He gave a short answer and then tried to talk to me about the book again. She just got an annoyed look for a second and then moved onto the next booth. I set the book down and cut him off to say “sorry dude, she’s the comic fan, I was just looking at the drawings” and then moved on too.

Assuming I was the nerdier one was acceptable. Still a somewhat sexist assumption, but if you look at the traditional gender split of a comic con it’s a reasonable assumption. But once she tried to engage and he ignored her in favor of a male then that just showed he was an idiot. And seeing it first-hand I really kind of felt bad for nerdy girls who have guys gatekeeping nerdy things or assuming the girls don’t have the right to be interested in them.

#50

Went into Home Depot to buy a hard hat for my mother… seemed simple enough. Was approached by a worker who seemed to be in his 50s. He took one look up and down and said “what’s a pretty thing like you doing here? You look a little lost” I told him what I was looking for and that I had found it, and then he continued to question what I needed it for, and if I really knew which one to pick out…. it was quite the experience. Thankfully only a one time event though.

#51

25 years ago my husband and I are looking for our first house. He had just graduated and still had student debt. I had been practicing law and had 20k saved for the downpayment. Real estate agent only spoke to husband, even if I asked the questions. In one house we went to look at the basement and the guy says “you don’t want to go there. It has spiders.” I told my husband I wouldn’t ever buy a house from him. Later the guy ran for office and I told everyone the story including a woman that called me randomly to promote his candidacy. Turns out she was his mother. It’s a small thing but indicative of his attitude toward ” the fairer sex”.

#52

My wife and I in Dubai, being the middle East they would exclusively approach me but the credit card was hers. Every dam time

#53

I have issues constantly when going out to eat with my boyfriend. They always put the bill down directly in front of him no matter what. Even when I reach across the table to grab it and put my card in, they almost always put the check back down in front of him after swiping the card. They will often turn to him and thank him or tell him to have a great evening or which copy to sign. It’s infuriating.

#54

Buying a car. If anyone actually approached me I got to do a few test drives, then once I got to the negotiation stage they would ask me to take the offer home to my husband. I was single.

If they didn’t suggest taking it home to my husband, they’d then send me to the financing office – because how could a single woman possibly buy a brand new vehicle in cash.

I finally found a great salesman who didn’t pull this sexist stuff on me and I bought a vehicle same day.

#55

When I was a baby for some reason I wouldn’t “latch on” when my mother breast fed me, so I wasn’t eating well. The doctor completely ignored my mom and only talked to my dad because she was “too hysterical”… He was on the verge of finding out what that looked like…

#56

I was at a Mexican restaurant with my husband. I don’t eat cheese or dairy, so I was looking for items on the menu that didn’t list those as ingredients, and I found shrimp tacos. The other tacos on the menu did list cheese and ‘white sauce’ as ingredients, but I thought it made sense for shrimp tacos not to have those ingredients, so I didn’t bother telling the waiter “no dairy.” I mean, the menu didn’t say they had dairy in the first place, so I thought I was in the clear.

The tacos came out smothered in cheese and white sauce, so I sent them back and told the busser (different person than the guy who took our order) that I was sorry, but I couldn’t eat dairy. The waiter came storming out and asked my husband why “she” (me, sitting right there across the table, obviously capable of speaking) sent the tacos back. I told him that I couldn’t eat dairy, and that the menu didn’t say they had dairy on them. He ignored me and told my husband that “she” should have expected there to be cheese on all of the tacos, so I asked why it didn’t say that on the menu. He continued to ignore me and told my husband that “she” had no right to send food back, because “she” wasn’t paying the bill, and he would only talk to the one who was. My husband told him that he needed to talk to me, the one with the problem, so he stormed off to get the owner and called me a bitch on his way off. That was the only thing he said to me.

We got up and left without paying the second he walked away.

#57

Wasn’t my husband, not even my boyfriend, but a guy friend I happened to have round when a joiner came to fix something in MY home. I welcomed the joiner in, started talking to him about the issue, then he saw my friend and did a 180° to talk to him. He literally turned his back on me while I was mid-sentence. In MY home.

#58

All the time, every time we go out, to eat or shop. Restaurants, car dealerships, stores. Even when the items are obviously mine – like the shoes I bought today, the salesman went to the counter and stood around waiting for my husband, who was at the back of the store, to ring the items up, while I’m standing right in front of him. I had to tell him that I’m paying for my own damn shoes! And even when I pay they hand the card or change and receipt to my husband who just stares at them with exasperation while he hands it over to me.

#59

I’m a pilot and decided to take my boyfriend up on a flight for the first time to a touristy town for a cute little day excursion. Everything went super smoothly, except when we were walking to the airplane to fly back afterwards: one of the ramp employees saw us and immediately approached my boyfriend. I was far enough away that I couldn’t hear what was being said, but it looked important so I went up to them just as my guy was awkwardly motioning to me like “She’s the pilot, tell her, not me!”

Aviation is still pretty male dominated so I’ve heard stories of something similar happening to other female pilots (it happens a LOT), but it was the first time it’s ever happened to me personally. Needless to say he and I were cracking up the whole flight back!

#60

Every damn time I take my truck in for something they call my husband or my father to discuss my truck even when I express to call me it’s mine I’m not an idiot and it’s in my name.

#61

I was buying a car and my ex was with me. I made it clear it was my car that I was buying myself at every dealership i visited. Most sales people I talked to were perfectly nice, except a guy at the Ford dealership.

Every time I asked a question he would answer it to my ex instead of to me, the person who asked it and is the actual customer. He even gave my ex the keys to test drive.

Needless to say I do not own a Ford now.

#62

Not my story but my wife’s.

For clarity, I’m autistic and I do not do well with interactions at all, especially if I don’t know the person.

We had to get our septic tank pumped and when the guy was over, my wife and I both came outside to talk to him. I was mostly following her because my dad’s name was on the request and we have similar names. I assumed he would ask for our names so I went out.

The septic guy kept telling me things about the tank, where we lived, our toilet habits (the tenant before us flushed a ton of condoms, which I don’t use). My wife explained to him that they weren’t ours, that we just moved in, etc. I listened to him but didn’t respond a word (just nods and gestures).

Still, he kept talking to me about how to maintain the tank and I’m not technical. I have no clue what he’s saying. My wife kept answering because she had more experience than me at the topic.

Eventually, she stepped between him and me and fielded his comments a lot more firmly.

It was weird. She was friendly and understood what he was talking about. I was withdrawn and distracted. I guess he was as bad at picking up on social cues as me.

#63

The bank was reporting the mortgage on my husband’s credit rating even though the mortgage is in both of our names and we pay it 50/50. The manager was NOT impressed when I asked him why and that it needed to be fixed. He acted like it was impossible but sure enough the next year when I checked my credit report, there it was! So damn frustrating that we still have to fight for equality when it comes to the financial industry.

#64

Needed a new car and went by myself to check some places out. Was patently ignored despite being seen by more than one salesman. Had to take my husband with me, whom they did talk to. I took auto mechanics for 2 years, my husband knows nothing.

#65

Took my boyfriend to a very expensive birthday dinner in DC and made sure he got the best wine that night. The total came to about $400 just for the two of us. I made the initial reservation so our notes stated that I would be treating. Having come from working at a high end restaurant, I’m familiar with proper service steps.

The first strike was when I ordered the wine for us and the server gave the bottle to my boyfriend to approve and taste without giving me the option. Second strike was although I clearly said I was treating, they placed the check in front of my boyfriend…on his birthday.

Finally straw was the manager coming over to introduce himself to my boyfriend. Handshake, banter, the works, without acknowledging me. Happened a second time at the end of the meal. Two manager visits. And I was the one trying to provide the experience and bankroll the night. They definitely heard about it.

#66

While buying a car, my dad went with me as my ride and just to make sure I didn’t get ripped off. He stayed pretty quiet throughout it all, meanwhile I’d ask my list of questions… except every time I asked a question, the salesman would turn to my dad and answer it as if my dad had asked it. Eye contact with him and all. It made both myself and my dad really uncomfortable. I ended up confronting him about it and he just awkwardly looked at his feet and dodged the question about his behavior, only to ask my dad if he had any further questions and then walking away. Needless to say, we purchased elsewhere.

#67

I’m not married, so when I make large decisions about my house (that I own and paid for) I ask my father to come along as an advisor. (I’m not young, so the female + age = stupidity assumption shouldn’t be there.)

Last year I was replacing all the windows (house was built in 1935) and I made appointments with three different companies. (National, local, hardware store chain.)

The guy from the national company only focused on my father who repeatedly told him “She’s buying the windows, she’s done the research.” (Which was true.) When we sat down at the dining room table to crunch the numbers the guy would only let my dad see the laptop screen. Finally, my dad said, “Can I see that? I don’t have my glasses.” The guy gave him the laptop and my dad handed it to me.

The second, local company sent a woman rep and there was absolutely no problem at all once I told her it was my house.

The third sent out another man, but he was younger than the first guy (and me) so once I told him my house, my money, he also focused on me.

#68

Two or three times this has happened.

Im a butch women and sometimes get mistaken for a dude. If I’m in a group with my female friends and a dude were comes up and ask us for directions or something, they will almost certainly address me and not the rest of the group which I find really interesting.

#69

I’ll give you one second-hand from my wife. She was buying a car (before I’d met her) and went into the local dealership. The sales person was all about “Maybe you should bring your husband in so we can talk about this, honey”. She looked him straight in the eye and said she was happily single, that she’d already talked to a salesperson at another dealership who treated her like an adult, and that he’d be getting her business…and walked out.

#70

All the damn time, but the one that pissed me off most was a male friend.

I bought a grill from Lowe’s during the pandemic and so ordered it for curbside pickup. Call my “best friend with a truck” who is male. Lowe’s dude is taking forever and he comes outside MULTIPLE TIMES letting him know it’s missing, giving status updates, and apologizing all looking my male friend in the face and ignoring me. Every single time my male friend says, “Talk to her. I’m just the ride.”

Women are allowed to make purchases. We like food too. Friend earned major additional kudos that day for calling out the Lowe’s dude’s sexism.

#71

Buying furniture at Ashley Home Store. The (male) sales rep completely ignored me and only asked my husband questions about his preferences, budget, etc. Like I was nonexistent. The furniture was poor quality anyway so we ended up going to another store and buying from this really kooky lady who was asking us all sorts of questions about us as a couple, our zodiac signs, etc. but was super fun, and we got much nicer pieces.

#72

Bought the wife flying lessons for her birthday. Turn up at the centre and the guy talks to me. I politely inform him that my better half will be the one flying. He continues to talk to me, and gets to the point where she needs to sign a contract. He tells me that I need to get her to sign this…. weird

Happens the other way too. We were looking at a kitchen showroom. The lady taking us round spoke to me about the finances and the wife about the features of the 5 burner range cooker. Little did she know I’m the cook, the wife is the bank.

#73

Not exactly this scenario, but it rankles me to this day. There was a particular car I wanted and I wanted it with a manual transmission, which was tough to find in that car. There was one at a local dealer that was near my office, so I stopped in during my lunch hour to see what they’d do on price. At the time, I was a young, professional woman in my twenties. The car was for me and I was paying cash.

I wander in around noon on a Tuesday. No one even acknowledges my presence though there was NO ONE else in the showroom. Finally, I go up to one of the salespeople and say “Hey, do you still have [model] car? I thought you had one in stock.” The guy looked at me, in total seriousness, and says in a very condescending tone, “Oh, honey, you don’t want that car, it has a manual transmission. Let me show you these others that would be better for you.”

Ummmm, wtf? After the initial shock wore off, I looked at him and said, “Well, first off, my name isn’t ‘Honey’. I have a name which you’d know if you’d bothered to ask. Second, I know what I want and don’t need you to tell me. I think we’re done here.” And, with that, I walked out the door.

I ended up finding the same model, manual transmission, at another dealership about a hour from my house. TOTALLY worth the drive. I did most of the deal over the phone. The salesman DGAF that I was female. We got to a price we could both live with and the deal was done. SO MUCH BETTER. Drove that car until it died about 10 years later.

The first dealership went out of business about a year later. Can’t say I’m surprised.

#74

I don’t have a husband, but my dad used to take me shopping for big purchases, like a car or my first computer. And I have to say? This didn’t happen very often.

The only time I got this was when I was shopping alone for fishing lures at Dick’s Sporting Goods. Now, I don’t condemn the store as a whole – I’ve shopped there many times and this is the only time someone was a dick.

The clerk (older guy) saw me shopping, came over, and assumed I was shopping for someone else, and kept using “he” pronouns for this assumed person. I’ve been fishing since I was old enough to hold the pole. With my country cousins, we’d dig our own bait and make our own poles. I’ve dove for clams for supper for my family when I was 13 years old. Yet this dude kept probing, “Who are you buying for? What kind of fishing does HE do?”

I stayed polite bc my mom always said “Kill them with kindness,” and let the idiot help me bc I relaly did have questions about what kind of lure is best for catching trout down the bayou. Then I told a manager how uncomfortable this employee made me, and the manager immediately believed me and said he’s speak to the employee after I left the store. I have faith that the manager did.

I mean, I was gonna let it go, but I was waiting in line to check out and the manger was right there, and I thought, ykno, this clerk is prolly doing this for every woman in the fishing dpt, so I felt obligated to stick up for all of us.

#75

I’m building a skoolie and occasionally hire friends to help out for the day when they’re in need of work. Every single time I go to the hardware store with these friends (all the hired hands have been men so far), the workers address them instead of me when I’m obviously the one actually looking at the products.

One such worker continued to address my friend, even though I was answering all the questions he asked. After three attempts to get this misogynistic old man to acknowledge me in the conversation, my friend started laughing and walked away. I continued to stand there, cheerfully answering the questions he barked at my friend, who was actively walking away. I was so entertained at this point; this was war.

When my friend was left the aisle, it was like a flip switched in the worker’s head. When he was speaking to my friend, he was asking about floor plans and fridges and all the little things that make it a home, but the moment he started talking to ME, he started absolutely questioning my engine, the capacity of my battery bank, and all the things I’m sure he assumed I wouldn’t be familiar with. I answered all the questions with ease and even had the chance to mansplain my electrical system, as the worker said something blatantly wrong while speaking with me.

The moment he realized I was explaining something to him, he turned beet red, insisted he knew what I was talking about and that I was wrong, and cited his uncle’s business as reason to believe he knew what he was talking about. I smiled, suggested he attend some local community college courses to refresh his memory, and wished him a nice day before walking away.

It was a beautiful moment. The worker avoided me every time I went to that hardware store for months until I stopped seeing him altogether.

#76

Semi related, girlfriend and I were in a restaurant in Slovakia. The waiter, older local man, comes over and directly addresses absolutely everything he has to say at me. Explains 15+ entrees in exquisite detail, etc. Then turns to my girlfriend and says the only words he says to her all night: “and the ladies, they like this” *beckoning at one dish*. Based on my gf’s face I could tell a. it was bothering her immensely (rightly so) and b. worse, that’s exactly what she wanted on the menu before he came over.

#77

Car lot, of course. Kept talking to my boyfriend. Told the salesman, “Fine, keep trying to sell a car to the guy with bad credit. I’m going elsewhere.” Good boyfriend though. Next lot, the guy greeted him first, my bf told him, I’m gonna do you a favor and go outside before you lose your sale.” I drive a hard bargain. Got the car for its exact value, financed it and still didn’t need gap insurance. They offered me a job, but I can’t deal that way to a buyer.

#78

Not a woman, but I know my wife and I experience this all the time. We have noticed so many times that when we go to a store, my wife will be the one paying, but the cashier still hands the receipt to me. It’s particularly frustrating because if my wife is paying, that means I am with the kids. So why they think to hand me the receipt is beyond me. The only non-sexist explanation I have is that I am taller than my wife (and can thereby reach it easier than her). But that doesn’t describe every scenario adequately.

#79

I’m in the market for my first pistol. If I show up to look with my husband- I get straight up ignored. I’ve even been told to move over so some other dudes can see, when I was standing there waiting for help.

Needless to say I haven’t found a dealer that treats me respectfully enough to buy from yet. I have a feeling I may ‘never’ find one, given how the firearms community seems to operate.

#80

So a while back my wife and I were hitting up local dealerships trying to find a replacement car for her 2006 Nissan subcompact. The first thing I would tell each salesman was that we were shopping around for a daily for her to drive.

Honda dealership was stereotypical car salesman “We can’t even let her take a test drive unless she shows intent to buy”

Ford dealership ignored her completely and tried to sell me a mustang.

Toyota was like, “oh you must want to look at our (insert soccer mom vehicle here)”

But when we got to Mazda I told the sales guy the same thing that we were looking for her next car, and he immediately nodded, turned to her and asked “what do you look for in a car?” And then he just listened to her. He didn’t ask me anything for the rest of the time we were there, focused entirely on her and answering her questions. Never rushed her or pushed her towards a different model.

So yeah we’ll probably be getting her a soul red Mazda3 cuz of that guy.

#81

I’m not a woman but I witnessed this scenario. I’ve posted it on reddit before but here it is again

A little more than a decade ago I (male) was at a party with a few friends and a whole bunch of strangers. I got into a conversation with another guy about our work. He was a programmer and I was a physicist, and at some point we started talking about quantum computing. He asked me a whole bunch of questions to which I gave answers, but my subfield was not quantum information. Fortunately my friend came to the party with me, and she was also a physicist, and specifically a quantum computing specialist. As soon as I saw her cross my field of vision I waved her over thinking she’d both appreciate the conversation and be able to contribute a whole lot more than I could.

Y’all. Even after I introduce her as a fellow physicist and quantum computing expert, the guy kept asking me questions. And I kept being like, “I honestly have no clue, [friend], you’re the expert, what’s going on there.” And like, I deflected three or four questions that way before I think he got the hint that maybe he’s addressing the wrong person.

He changes his conversation strategy so that instead of asking me about QIS, he starts trying to show off, to her, what he knows about it. Like, in his brain this flipped from an opportunity to learn more about quantum computers to an opportunity to get laid showing off what little he knows about the subject. So he’s mansplain-flirting quantum information science to a woman who had literally built and programmed what was, at the time, one of the world’s only functioning multi-qubit quantum computers.

I wish I could say I watched her die a little inside, but apparently this was so common a kind of occurrence that she was inured to it, and just laughed and went to get another beer.

#82

Multiple times I’ve had this happen…shopping for hunting knives with my brother, I was at the counter. The guy stood in front of me and spoke to my brother who was 10 ft behind me and on his phone. We walked out. Multiple gun shops I’ve been looking at pistols and the salesmen have either ignore me to speak to whichever man I was with (brother, dad, husband, whoever) and some even have the nerve to say, “she’ll like this one best.” To the men. I hate most when they recommend the pink pistols because it’s pretty and I need a pretty pistol. I hate pink.

#83

I was in the market for a new car. I’d done my research and knew exactly what I wanted down to the color. I also knew how much I was willing to pay. The only question left to answer was how much I’d get for my trade-in.

I walked into a car dealership near my work. A salesman approached me. I told him I wanted to by this car with these options in this color and then asked, “I need to know how much you’ll give me for my trade-in.”

He immediately responds, “Don’t waste my time if you’re not serious.”

I walked out and that evening I went to the a dealer near my house. I walked out two hours later with my new car.

You can bet I called the first dealership the next day and spoke to the manager.

#84

This is more about my mother than me, but still a good story. We went into the Mercedes dealership. She was looking at a little sports car and wanted to test drive it. The salesman told us that we would have to bring back my father for them to consider us. Now my mother was a corporate lawyer for Exxon and has her own money. She looked at him and said sure we’ll be back. Later, after we had purchased the car at another dealership, drove back by in the car and kindly informed the man to not underestimate women. *edit to say she has called this her pretty woman moment for like 10 years.

#85

Not me, but a couple of my former partners.

My previous partner (who does Let’s Plays on YT and streams) and I went into a fairly popular game store in British Columbia. She was there to pick up some games and equipment, probably 3-400 dollars worth. The sales associate came up to us and just started talking to me, asking me what I needed and completely ignored her. I said we were there for her and he talked to her like she didn’t know anything. Before she could even say what she was there for he was like, “Oh you want Animal Crossing or something?”. Yeah, we left and went to the other shop in town and they got her business. Pro-Tip, when approaching a couple/group ask, “How can I help you BOTH/ALL today?” don’t focus on one customer.

My current partner had this happen when we went to a comic book store together here in Ottawa. She isn’t super familiar with comics but wanted to buy some art books and maybe a figure with some comics, but had some questions. Anyways, this French-Canadian dude walks up to us and rudely was asking me if he could help me find anything. So I know this shop and my way around, been there a few times and I had my comics in my hands. I told him, “No I’m fine but my partner could use a hand”. So she is trying to explain what she’s looking for in English, and it’s not her first language so it was hard. He didn’t acknowledge anything she was saying (I mean I understood “I’m looking for books with artwork in it? Not a comic but…a hard book?”. Anyways, she switched to French to try and explain to him, and apparently he just said, “I don’t have time for this” in French and walked behind the counter to look at their cards. So again we left and never went back.

Do places just not understand customer service and how much money these employees are making the owner miss out? Don’t know if you’ve seen the price of figures and art books, but they aren’t cheap.

#86

Not my boyfriend or husband, but I went car shopping with my mom. I brought her only to keep me company. I was looking into upgrading my truck to a newer year. I knew how much my trade in was worth, and knew i wasn’t going to take less. The guy tried to low-ball me by about $8,000, and I told him I wasn’t going to go that low. He actually looked over at my mom, like she was going to talk sense into me. She looked at him and was like “don’t look at me, this is her deal, I’m just here to hang out.”

He walked away, came back, tossed the paper down at me and was like “congrats, you’re getting what you want.” Now most would walk away from that because of the jerk move. Nope. I took it, because I knew it made him so grumpy that he wasn’t able to pull one over on me.

#87

I’m a 6’7, 18 stone, bushy bearded vegetarian My girlfriend is a dainty 5’5 meat lover

Never once in our almost 4 years has our favourite bar failed to give me her 20 chicken wings and her my 10 veggie nuggets

#88

My stupid boyfriend at the time left the lights on in my car for a whole weekend, so it was super dead. I bought a new battery and changed it out but there was a mechanism that prevented the car from being turned on after the battery has been changed (06 civic…. still don’t know why that was a thing).

Anyhow, I was still locked out of my car so I called a locksmith. I asked my bf to go to the parking lot of our apartment with me because he was a stranger and I wanted to be safe. I explained I changed the battery but still couldn’t start my car. First of all, the locksmith wouldn’t look at me or ask me any questions even though I called it in and was giving him all my info (it was MY car). My boyfriend at the time was dumb as a box of rocks and could only tell him my car was blue and had four doors.

I explained again that I changed the battery and he couldn’t understand why it wouldn’t work. He starts messing with me key fob and I say no, the battery in my car, not the key. He drops what he’s doing and says “oh no, you shouldn’t have done that. Why would you touch that? You should have told me you touched your battery”. Why the hell shouldn’t I touch my own car battery? And maybe he would have understood if he listened to me the first 6 times I told him I changed the battery.

Long story short, he did nothing and charged me $100 (even though it was my bfs fault, and he still didn’t pay me back), so I had to have it towed to a mechanic who fixed the problem in 5 minutes.

#89

Maybe not quite what you’re looking for but my mom told me when she and my dad were first married and buying furniture for their new home, the furniture store wouldn’t accept a check without her husband present, or with a signed note from him authorizing the purchase.

In the 1980s.

In America.

Needless to say they got their furniture from somewhere else.

#90

Back when I was married, I was the financial manager in our marriage. Not that I particularly wanted that role all by myself—I would have preferred to be a team—but I was on my way to learning that my husband would simply not engage in subjects that made him feel uncomfortable. Since he wouldn’t deal with looking at cash flow or budgets, thinking about housing costs, retirement, or college savings, even when I tried to make it a joint effort, I handled it all myself.

And every time I initiated a move, like refinancing our house or opening an investment account, his name would be listed first, and mine second. Didn’t matter that I was the one who exclusively worked with the broker or whatever. I thought it was sexist nonsense. He thought it was funny.

Fast forward to the first tax year after our divorce. We divided our assets but retained one joint investment account specifically to fund college for our kids. We had not addressed the issue of paying taxes on this account in our divorce decree. When tax time came around, I was at my tax accountant’s office with all my financial paperwork, including this account. She said, “You could pay the taxes on this account and ask him for half. Or you could leave it up to him. The IRS only gets the social security number of the first person on the account, so he’s the one one the hook for the taxes.” I said, “I won’t be paying them, then.” He was furious. Too bad, so sad.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

OPP identify women killed in crash on QEW in Burlington – CHCH

Provincial police have identified the two women killed in a multi-vehicle crash on the QEW in Burlington on Tuesday morning.

Police responded to a crash on the QEW, near Brant St., around 6 a.m., before the snowfall.

Four vehicles were involved in the collision, which prompted police to close the highway in both directions between Brant St. and Guelph Line for several hours.

Two women in one car were killed at the scene.

OPP say Ceara Publuske, of Kitchener, was the driver. Her passenger was Courtney Duguay, of Owen Sound.

Police say the investigation into the crash continues. Speed is believed to be a factor.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

OISE :: Robin Margaret King Stonefish named winner of 2020 Scholarship for Research in Violence Against Indigenous Women :: Ontario Institute for Studies in Education of the University of Toronto

Robin Margaret King Stonefish named winner of 2020 Scholarship for Research in Violence Against Indigenous Women

January 25, 2021

By Perry King

 

At the heart of her academic work, Robin Margaret King Stonefish is carrying on the tradition set by her auntie and mother.

King Stonefish, a first-year doctoral student at OISE and the first-ever recipient of the 2020-2021 Bonnie Burstow Scholarship for Research in Violence Against Indigenous Women, will be studying ways to help learners overcome barriers they experience in learning about their language and culture.

King Stonefish pledges to work to eliminate those systemic barriers – especially for Indigenous women. “What I would hope to see out of this process is to develop resources and tools for others to help overcome some of the barriers to fulfilling Lifelong Learning,” she said.

The scholarship, established in 2018 by late Professor Bonnie Burstow, is intended to support a graduate student whose thesis focuses on violence against Indigenous women. Burstow, who passed away in late 2019, created the scholarship in memory of Helen Betty Osborne (1952–1971), a Cree woman who dreamed of becoming a teacher. She was kidnapped and murdered while walking down the street in The Pas, Manitoba.

This award, established in honour of all Indigenous women who are victims of violence, is awarded to an OISE student entering a thesis program in Adult Education and Community Development whose intended thesis focuses on violence against indigenous women (or the history underpinning it).

King Stonefish’s research is connected to customary practices of Indigenous families who carry knowledge bundles for their communities. She will look specifically at Anishinaabe math and science teachings from her late aunt, who was trained from a young age to become a Knowledge Keeper.

For Jennifer Wemigwans, an Assistant Professor at OISE, King Stonefish epitomizes what the scholarship stands for. “Robin has spent a lifetime learning from her community and caring for Indigenous Knowledge that has been carried by her family,” says Wemigwans, who is based in OISE’s department Leadership, Higher and Adult Education. “She is also active in language revitalization efforts. For Robin, Indigenous Knowledge is a way of life – not a theory or a concept.”

Her academic focus at OISE is something that embodies the work of her mother and aunt, who “always did so much stuff that just blew my mind,” says King Stonefish, who has roots with Henvey Inlet First Nation but grew up in Toronto.

Her mother, Emma, was a translator in hospitals, the court system, board member, and advocate in her volunteer work and administrative and clerical staff for various Indigenous organizations in Toronto. Her aunt, Nellie, was many things – a founding board member of Native Child Family Services of Toronto with Emma, a band administrator in Henvey Inlet First Nation, graphic artist, and a community member who would support kids and her many nieces and nephews from home when they needed that auntie figure to step in and help.

“Eventually I became her student,” said King Stonefish, of her aunt. “She was one of the people at the time that, in the 70s and 80s, if there were things you wanted to learn about culture and language, she was one of the people that you went to.”

Her family are educators. For example, when her aunt and uncle supported Native Child and Family Services’ first summer camp program – where Indigenous kids in Toronto, who’ve only grown up in the city, would spend time at Gundy Lake that sits between Henvey Inlet First Nation – King Stonefish was right there to learn and help teach kids their culture and history (while having fun through many outdoor activities like fishing and swimming).

Her family wanted to make their culture accessible to those who couldn’t find it easily. But, when King Stonefish’s aunt unsuccessfully tried to get educational books published, those memories stuck with her – it taught her that women like her aunt battling against a system that was still very patriarchal.

“As an Indigenous female Knowledge Keeper, Robin’s aunt was not treated respectfully during her time and in many ways was dismissed,” says Wemigwans. “Robin’s research will address historical epistemic violence experienced by Indigenous Women Knowledge Keepers, which makes her work a wonderful fit for the inaugural Bonnie Burstow Scholarship for Research in Violence Against Indigenous Women in Memory of Helen Betty Osborne.   

That was part of why King Stonefish decided to study at OISE. “I think of how many people were so impacted by the system that is present, the contemporary system that sits all around us,” she says.

Her aunt, before she passed away years ago, gave her two pieces of paper. One was a picture of the Thunderbirds, and how it’s assembled. “She would always remind me all knowledge is contained in the circle,” says King Stonefish, noting a lesson that has helped fuel her educational journey.

The second piece of paper was a list of names on it. “She says, ‘I don’t want you to forget this. These are the people – we don’t know what happened to them.’” They were people from her community that were taken – to residential schools, during the 60s Scoops or other unknown reasons.

“‘This is why you’re doing what you’re doing,’” her aunt told King Stonefish.

Wemigwans praises King Stonefish for her scholarship win. “I am so pleased that Robin is the first recipient of this new award,” she said. “Congratulations Robin, we are so pleased to have you join our program and look forward to walking with you on this important learning journey.”

King Stonefish is grateful to be named the inaugural winner of this scholarship. She wanted to work with Burstow before she died in late 2019. She loved Burstow’s approach to research, and the way in which she was working to advocate as an ally.

“I think that’s why I feel so honored to be able to do this work,” she said, “because much of her own work ties in with further advocating for work that my aunt and my mom did – to be able to have it heard and have it be part of the greater discourse.”
 

More OISE stories

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Opinion: Trolling of Katie Price shows attitudes to women are stuck in the 80s

I’m not sure much has changed since Mel and Kim danced their rather demure routine in that pretend New York back-alley. The bolero jacket and wide brimmed-hat trend might be gone but what remains is the popular cultural conceit that women can revel in being unrespectable. The sleight of hand that says that women can be celebrated for their unrespectability as long as – ironically – they stick closely to the social rules of acceptable feminine conduct: be grateful, be apologetic, be ashamed, and be sexually desirable without being sexually desiring. Unrespectability, then, becomes another mask for women to wear – something to try on but not to inhabit.  

Yet, the sustained negative tabloid coverage of Price and the online trolling to which she’s subjected tells us more about broader cultural attitudes to working-class women than it does about her as a person. We don’t know Katie Price as a person, only as a media persona on which the public projects their anxieties, prejudices and desires. Attitudes to her reflect cultural preoccupations about deserving and undeserving women: which women warrant our support and compassion – based on their respectability – and which do not.

What sets Katie Price apart, then? Why is Pricey-baiting an acceptable pastime? Why does she deserve the casual cruelty of social media users and tabloid journalists? Is it so offensive that she turns her humiliations into earning opportunities? The “mucky mansion” story ran for weeks until Price included a clean-up of the property as part of her reality show. Some might argue that Price is “asking for it” by subjecting her life to the scrutiny of the public eye, but what she’s doing is reclaiming her narrative. She’s telling her own story and making the money (which she desperately needs) instead of being a cash cow for others.

It’s almost as if Price’s financial and mental health struggles are seen as a kind of comeuppance – some sort of moral justice – but for what? Price is outspoken and unapologetic. Shouldn’t we find her authenticity refreshing? Apparently not. Price continues to be constructed as a grotesque figure of fun, repeatedly pilloried and rejected by the public and press. It seems that some authenticities are more valued than others.

Price is a single mother experiencing financial and psychological distress alongside caring for seriously ill family members. How many women are in the same boat? Millions. When we trivialise the experiences of Price, we trivialise similar experiences of women across the world. Maybe that’s the point: despite Mel and Kim’s celebration of women’s unrespectability in 1987, in 2021 we’re still taking aim at women who refuse to bow to social mores.

This content was originally published here.

Categories
Uncategorized

Educating young women is the climate fix no one is talking about | WIRED UK

Saac Kasamani / AFP via Getty Images

What springs to mind when someone says ‘climate change solution’? Probably wind or solar farms, maybe meatless burgers or ‘moonshot’ technologies. These are all important if we are going to urgently cut our carbon emissions in line with the science, but they also all happen to be solutions in the model we have been taught to see them – from the market, with potential to make money.

In fact, there are a wide range of climate solutions with huge potential. We have been talking more about restoring nature, but what about educating girls? Universal education can start improving people’s lives right away, as well as stabilising our climate. Educating girls, together with family planning, is listed by Project Drawdown as the fifth most impactful solution we have, if we want to limit global heating to 1.5C. The climate change mitigation project calculated that taking steps toward universal education, as well as investing in family planning in low and middle income countries, could result in a massive reduction in emissions of 85.42 gigatons by 2050. That’s almost a decade’s worth of China’s emissions.

Why are we not talking about this? Across sub-saharan Africa, nine million girls between the ages of six and 11 will never go to school at all. Girls who have been able to go to school grow up to be women who are economically and politically empowered, and who are not forced into early marriage to bear children. Lower fertility can lead to healthier, more secure families, and it reduces emissions well into the future.

But, while fertility rates are important, they are far from the only reason why educating girls is important for our climate future. Women are also disproportionately impacted by climate disasters: the UN estimates that 80 per cent of people displaced by climate change are female. With the climate crisis, as so often, women’s suffering is intensified by the structural gender inequalities that dominate their lives. Women in Uganda are most likely primary caregivers, responsible for feeding families and gathering water, for subsistence crops and for protecting children when climate disasters strike.

Medical racism could hold back the UK’s Covid-19 vaccination drive

Men can travel to cities for work when extreme weather hits, are often responsible for cash crops, and are more likely to have access to credit to rebuild in the aftermath. On top of all these, devastatingly, it appears that climate change and girls’ rights are also part of a vicious climate circle. There is already evidence that droughts are causing more child marriages and even FGM.

Education can give women the tools they need to be more resilient to these disasters. But, once again, the injustices seem to collide, and the global south countries where the climate crisis is already hitting hardest are often also the places where girls are most likely to miss out on school. Economic empowerment, empowerment within their communities, and knowledge about how to respond to extreme weather, are crucial for our women and girls to survive.

Finally, we need to educate more girls so that they are able to lead the world in addressing this crisis. In the past few years we have seen a wave of young people demanding climate action – and these movements are being led by young women. But this is not new, female leaders like Christiana Figueres, Amina Mohamed, and many more have been driving ambition for years. Women know what is at stake, they know that their rights are likely the first to disappear when times get tougher. We need to empower women to lead on climate on a local and national level too. We have seen during this global pandemic how female leadership can steer us through crises. Equally, we already know that countries with female leaders are more likely to ratify environmental treaties.

Unlike many girls in Uganda, I was lucky to receive a full education. I attended university and wrote my dissertation on climate change. It was during this process that I came to realise the shocking extent of what humanity is facing. I started looking around at events in my country – droughts, flooding, landslides, people losing everything, and I knew I had to speak out. We need many more girls around the world to be given these opportunities. Educating a girl will provide her with a brighter future; educating girls will provide us all with a lifeline.

Vanessa Nakate was one of the speakers at WIRED Live – the inspirational festival bringing the WIRED brand to life. Find out more about future WIRED Events here

Ready Player Two is a warning about artificial intelligence. An AI could write a better book

More great stories from WIRED

? The honey detectives are closing in on China’s shady syrup swindlers

? Follow WIRED on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and LinkedIn

WIRED WORLD 2021

The WIRED World in 2021 is an unmissable briefing on the ideas, trends, technologies, people and companies that will shape the coming year.

This content was originally published here.